When I Was the Barbarian at the Gate!

Daily writing prompt

What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on a meal? Was it worth it?

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I decided at a period in my life that I had to learn to enjoy life alone, to find joy in my own company. I had kept dating the wrong people because I wanted so badly to be someone’s girlfriend. I reserved a dinner at a swanky downtown Atlanta restaurant and a show at the Fox Theater. I dressed up nicely and started the adventure.

The place was nearly empty, as it was about 6:00 in the evening. The waiter came over, poured water in a beautiful glass, and presented the menu. I realized quite quickly that I wasn’t going to have fried chicken and sweet potato casserole in that place. I had no idea what the different names of the steaks were, but I ordered one with scallops as a starter. I had iced tea as my beverage.

When the scallops came, they were encased in a beautiful presentation. I grabbed a regular fork to start eating, not knowing what the little fork was meant to do. The waiter didn’t tell me I was eating with the wrong fork. He gently placed another little fork next to my plate. I got the message. The scallops were sitting atop mashed potatoes made to look like a cloud. When I finished eating the scallops, I started on the mashed potatoes, thinking that the addition was why the scallops were so expensive. The waiter came over, never said a word, and very calmly removed the plate. It seems I was NOT meant to eat the potatoes.

Then, a man comes over to cook the steak over a flame at the table. I don’t know if it even got hot, but it was raw. I told him that I wanted the steak well done. He left in a huff, and my waiter suggested I choose another entree. So, I ordered Duck a l’ Orange. While waiting, I kept sipping water, and a waiter kept refilling it to the top. I asked him to stop doing that because I couldn’t keep up with how much water I was drinking, and for the prices I was paying, I planned to eat it all!.

When the duck came, I was relieved that it was cooked. But, I realized quickly that cutting duck with a knife and fork was not part of my cultural repertoire. I turned it on the plate in every angle, trying to determine how to cut it. Because it costs over $20, and this was nearly 25-30 years ago, I was determined to eat it. I knew that I was about to embarrass myself and the waitstaff, but I picked it up, and I ate it like I was eating fried chicken from Kentucky Fried Chicken or Popeye’s! It was so good, with the orangey taste, like having dessert with the entree.

I saw people staring at me, but I meant to eat the duck before the waiter whisked it away like the mashed potato decoration. The poor waiters were appalled, and I knew that were ready for the barbarian to leave. I asked for the bill, and it was around $50-60, which today would be about $150.00. I left the waiter a huge tip, about $20-25, thinking that he had tried to civilize me but had failed. I also wanted to prove that I was no slouch! He had the good grace to smile when he saw the tip.

I laughed all the way to the Fox Theater for the play I was attending. I decided I would stick to my neck of the woods, enjoying collard greens, neckbones, oxtails, fried chicken, sweet potato casserole, and other “simple” foods. I did finally learn how to use a knife and fork, but I realize that sometimes you have to just be yourself and not try to impress anyone else. I kept my coworkers laughing about the barbarian at the gate for weeks after. It was worth every penny!