Foregoing the Pain: Knowing What Not to Watch

I have not watched any movies about slavery since I tried watching the first episode of Roots in 1977. That first one, where they tried to get the young African boy not to say his name was Kunta Kinte, nearly broke my faith. The mental and emotional pain I endured never left me, and as much as I want to, I can’t bring myself to see it. I can read about it, to an extent. I have a book my grandson gave me titled The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates that I am determined to read. It has such a beautiful premise of a young man born into slavery who after being saved from drowning runs away from the plantation and only home he has known to help other slaves escape and restore their humanity.

Today, places like Florida refuse to allow books or courses in African American History that give an honest account of slavery. I wish for everyone to see documentaries and movies that display the pain, suffering, and humiliation of slavery. But, I can’t seem to watch them, because I continually want to understand how such inhumanity could have existed in a nation that so many want to refer to as a Christian nation. At age 72, I finally understand that I will never comprehend racism and racial prejudice. Maybe, it is beyond anyone’s comprehension.

Seeing the brutality makes me angry. Anger can be good when it motivates us to seek changes in the world that allows everyone to be seen as valuable and worthy of God’s love. But anger can be destructive and prevent us seeing all the progress that has been accomplished. We have to know ourselves and what hurts us in our souls and spirits. For me, that is anything to do with slavery, so I forego the movies so that I can continue to believe that this is already a great nation, one that has altered to the point that a black woman running is for President of the United States with a white male as her running mate.

Written for Writer’s Workshop Prompts for August 22, 2024 from The Sound of One Hand Typing. I used three of the prompts: A post on the the word honest. A post in exactly 16 sentences. Talk about a popular movie you haven’t seen (I extended that a little).

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