I Try to Take “Judge Ye Not” Seriously, But Not Too Successfully

I was not a good judge of character when it came to choosing men to date. I learned that when you don’t feel worthy to be around good people, you tend to look for something good in the people around you. As a result, I find myself often repenting for having judged people by a rule I developed out of a need for safety and not to be hurt: Assume they are bad until they prove otherwise.”

As a Black child growing up in the South in the United States, I was taught not to trust White people because they hated us. Yet, today, I am in an interracial marriage, and I learned that we must judge others for ourselves, even though I have been taught as a Christian not to judge others, period. It is a conum

Romans 14:4 states, “Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.” So, I try not to judge so harshly. Still, I am not always successful, because once you learn to distrust the idea that there is good in everyone, particularly as a survivor of domestic violence, judging becomes almost second nature.

These days, amid the divisiveness in American politics, I find myself judging people’s character by whom they voted for president. Yet when I talk to people, they believe in God and Jesus, just as I do. I realize that we all have different life experiences that contribute to our political leanings, and that I can’t believe someone doesn’t know God and is of bad character just because we have different beliefs about the character of our political leaders.

So, I try to remember to see the humanity in all people and hope that people are basically good. I tend to judge too quickly by how people dress, act, or speak. Because of the violence that was so much a part of my life before I married my current husband, I sometimes fail to judge people correctly, and I have to repent and ask God’s forgiveness a lot. It was part of my prayer this morning to learn not to judge and criticize others too quickly. So, I try not to judge so that I am not judged incorrectly either.

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