Knowing When To Let Go Has Made Me Happier

Daily writing prompt

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

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It was learning to know when to let go of relationships hat made my life happier. I was watching Kenny Rogers” movie, The Gambler. When he sang,”You got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run,” I realized that that was not good advice only for cards. I had been in an abusive relationship that I remained in because of the “I love you” spoken after every incident. One day, I realized that what I was experiencing was not love, and I needed courage and faith to let go. I needed to run from the relationship.

I have since come to know the signs for when I have reached my level of tolerance for people who want to receive a lot from others, but do not want to give anything. I don’t remain in friendships, , relationships, jobs, or churches where the criteria for leavening are met. I know that I am going to be happier someone place else, and that if I stay past when my spirit tells me to leave, I will suffer.

The three criteria to know when to hold them or when to run are kindness, reciprocity, and emotional health. If I encounter unkindness and a lack of being able to see my value and worth in a friendship or relationship, I don’t accept it. I am forgiving, but I am not going to continuously forgive people who can’t see my value and worth. Likewise, if I am the only one giving every time, meaning paying for lunch or for theater tickets, then I need to let go, because, I’ve learned, people will use you up and be gone when you need them. Reciprocity is so important to me. Lastly, if my emotional or mental health suffers in certain people’s presence, for whatever reason, I keep away from them.

I spent years remaining in jobs where I wasn’t fulfilled, too scared that I wouldn’t find another job, or in relationships, thinking no one else would want me. The physical and emotional pain takes a toll on one’s self-esteem. I weigh the costs of remaining versus the benefits of leaving, and if the benefits outweigh the costs, meaning if I have to give a lot to receive a little, it’s time to fold them, to let go, and to walk or run away. It’s called self-preservation, and it is not selfishness. Instead, it is a form of self-love.