A year ago in June, I started this blog post as a way to prepare to write a memoir. I wanted to present stories of triumph in seemingly impossible situations, to encourage, inspire, and give hope to people experiencing like events. I wanted especially for people to understand and appreciate that I knew that it was only the grace and mercy of God that brought me through, and that it was necessary to learn to trust and believe in God and in Jesus Christ our Lord and the Holy Spirit.
I chose Isaiah 46, particularly verses 3-4, as my foundation scriptures, because I wanted people to know that I am convinced that from birth to death, God watches over us and His angels, and that my stories serve as evidence of the reality of theses words. I have so enjoyed writing the posts, and I am proud of what as been accomplished. Douglas joined me in this endeavor, mainly because I knew that he had much to offer, as he has a more extensive theological grounding in the Scriptures than I do. I have so loved reading his posts.
The comments and receiving likes have been so soul-affirming, and we have had to discuss not getting addicted to the number of likes and views, especially not allowing them to determine our sense of worth and value. Over the last few weeks, I have struggled to write the Psalm Wednesday posts and just to feel that I have something to add to the wonderful conversations on WordPress.
I must follow over 100 sites, for I seem to love them all, and, of course, there is not enough time in the day to actually read them all and get any other work done, but I have my favorites that I just cannot miss, for they bring my soul such joy and I feel compelled to comment on them. It is now difficult to find new ones (that might not be bad), as I have not figured out how to use the new prompts. I think that the likes and views have become too important to me, and so few makes you wonder what is the point? Is this wrong thinking?
Douglas does not read the posts we follow, leaving that up to me, and I am generally the one who comments, although occasionally he answers a new follower. So, is it just me, or do many others find that it seems that everything you want to say is already out there for people to read and appreciate? I have hit a wall, and the enthusiasm of writing seems to have left me. Has anyone else felt this way, and what do you do about it? Is it normal, or have I begun disillusioned by all that is happening in the world today? Is there sometimes a time to just stop?
I still trust and believe in God, and I still hope in Him to “heal the land.” But, each day that goes by, I find myself less able to write. The posts I love are mostly people who tell us of their days and share their pictures and gardens and poetry, people who have such active lives, which I don;t have just now in retirement and simply existing between trips. Still, I am not a quitter and I know I have a responsibility to our followers to do something, but I also feel an obligation to be sure that I give our followers something worth their time to read.
Any help would be appreciated. I have told Douglas that he can go it alone, completing his Romans series, which people seem to like. It is hard for me to admit that I am stymied in this pursuit, because I have always struggled with caring too much about how others see me. But, this is a community of people who may have answers for me, and I believe that it takes much courage to ask for help and not simply sit back. I feel God is saying to me, “Ask and you shall receive; knock, and the door will be opened; seek and you shall find.” Thanks in advance, lovely ones.