What a Shame to Die And No One Knows!

Yesterday, Douglas received and email from one of his brothers, informing him of the passing of the brother’s ex-wife. He told him that she had been dead for two weeks before she was found! Her neighbors had not seen her in a couple of weeks and finally called the authorities for a wellness check.

When I heard, it shocked me to think that someone could die and nobody know it for two long weeks! I thought, “What a shame that anyone could be that isolated from others that no one even knows that they are dead!” It appears that the woman was estranged from her child and even her neighbors.

It’s hard to articulate that someone could have so few contacts on a regular basis that there was no one to even check on her after a day or two of not having heard from her. It made me think about the numbers of people in similar situations, alone and with no one to check on them regularly.

It doesn’t matter what type of person she might have been, for no one deserves to die alone, forgotten, and basically discarded. I know that some people want to be left alone. They may have been hurt by others, or they may have caused so much pain, refused to be penitent about the hurt caused, and other people simply decided not to deal with them any more.

Or it may be a sign of the culture today. We have lived in my home for nearly four years, with the same neighbors to the right of us. We wave at them when we see them outside, but I could not tell you their names, to win a fortune.

We live on a cul de sac, with only ten houses, and I only know the names of two of the people, and that is because I put their garbage out when Douglas works late. I text them, and they place their bags on their porch for me to load their garbage can and roll it to the street. We don’t even speak face-to-face for this gesture. Both the ladies have physical problems that preclude doing the garbage for themselves.

So, I guess if one or both of them were ill, I wouldn’t know, unless they did not return the text. I would probably think that they had no garbage for the week, or just did not need our help. I wouldn’t want to appear pushy or bossy. Yet, in light of what happened to the woman dying alone like that, maybe I should call and just be sure all is good.

It may be a phenomenon in America only, for when we travel, I marvel at the camaraderie between neighbors. They practically drench each other in smiles and asking about their health and families. I could not imagine this happening in Portugal or Spain, but I could be wrong!

Indeed, for those of us raised before the 1980s, maybe 1990s, we knew our neighbors for miles on end, and they knew who your parents were, which constrained our behaviors. This could not have happened then, unless the person was a real recluse or had no children.

The Bible teaches us to love our neighbors in the same way that we love ourselves. Admittedly, it is difficult if people don’t want to know you or feel safer not being known.

But, I hope that the day will return when, even if we don’t become best pals, neighbors will tend to get to know each other enough that when trouble comes, there is someone to call for help. No one should be dead for two weeks and nobody knows. To me, that’s a real shame.

Fandango prompt is Contacts. Ragtag prompt is Articulate. Word of the Day is Penitent. Your Daily Prompt is Drench.

9 thoughts on “What a Shame to Die And No One Knows!

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  1. This saddens me to think that we have become a society where this could actually happen. Like you mentioned, growing up in the 80’s in a small town- everyone knew everyone and we knew when something was off, or someone was missing from the scene… oh for the day we could somehow get back to that…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sad story, and very common too. I live in the US and am marginalized due to my low-come status, though I’m also estranged from family for 20+ years. So I fully expect that when I die, if in my apartment, no one will notice till I haven’t paid my rent…and then it’s possible Management will simply post an eviction notice on the door (it’s happened to others).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Indeed a sad state of affairs. This just happened with my next door neighbor’s ex- husband, found about 6 weeks after he died. He had friends, relatives, co workers, 3 children, and was known to be an erratic communicator. A very sad state of affairs. His ex and their daughter drove down to Texas from Colorado to assist in clearing up his estate. Quite odd for all involved.

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  4. All of the comments I’ve read about this agree that the story is tragically sad, and I fully agree with those sentiments. Yet, we can’t just remember better days or yearn for better times. We need to make efforts for more meaningful connections. It isn’t always easy to do so. I know I can do better.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. LONELINESS, IS the WORD Here. When the Woman I Loved for 35 + years was taken away from me & Died without me at Her side, by Her selfish kids, none of whom could be bothered to visit Her in the 35 + years I lived with Her, It broke my Heart so bad, I tried to starve myself to death, I made it 40 days without a single bite of food, lost 15 + lbs. Until my good neighbors noticed & stepped in with bowls of soup, and condolences. Without them, I would just be a skeleton now, awaiting burial…..I am now open to any person that is lonely or needs a shoulder to cry on, all I have to offer is my Key Board, as I am Deaf, but I will Listen with my EYES, and I will respond……Blessings to ALL!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the comment! my prayer is that you find peace in reaching out to others and in your memories of your wife. The depth of your grief speaks to the love you shared and is a tribute to her. Blessing to you!


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