The Fear of Being Invisible Never Seems to Leave Us

Daily writing prompt

What’s something most people don’t know about you?

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I have written before of my nickname in high school, from grade seven until I graduated. I marveled, even as I cringed and tried to quickly move through the halls as fast as possible, that people who viewed themselves as human beings could not comprehend that they rendered me invisible, unable to “see” my humanity and pain. I studied with them, ate lunch with them, and walked among them every school day, but they didn’t acknowledge that I had feelings and emotions, that I felt such embarrassment and shame at being someone others felt worthy of the constant barrage of teasing and meanness.

I loved learning, and as a student in college today, it is apparent that I still love it. I had to decide each day if it was worth having the nickname screamed in my face or boys taunting their friends by saying I was their girlfriend to learn something new about the world. Most days, it was worth it, so I attended school. I would run from school to home, trying to get out of the range of their hatefulness as quick as I could. Today, I can outwalk younger generations of my family, as I learned how to speedwalk away from danger.

As a seventy-something, I have accomplished a lot for someone who wasn’t expected to achieve anything, as a mother, grandmother, wife, preacher, and professor. I have won kudos for my teaching and preaching and people think I have no fears. But, the fear of being rendered invisible still haunts me, of not being seen as worthy of respect and compassion. I try to be nice to everyone I meet so that they know I “see” their humanity.

In the trailer for her show Matlock, Kathy Bates, when asked how she got into a board room of a law firm answered something like this, “Well, as women age, a strange thing happens. We become darn near invisible!” She meant that people overlook our importance, competence, or ability to feel, so they react without seeing us as a threat. They don’t see our continued humanity.

I smile at people to remind them and me that we all have value and worth, we are all struggling to make it through this tedious journey called life, and no one is superior to anyone else, regardless of wealth, title, or income. I see your humanity and your need for acknowledgment of your being. I will not render you invisible, ever. I know what that feels like and will not inflict that pain on anyone else.