When Everything Seems to Go Bottoms Up, You Have to Be Your Own Advocate

I feared having a tooth extracted, but the tooth was cracked and could not be saved. I had it pulled two weeks ago, and I am still dealing with a dry socket. I may have to change dentists because, after seeing me for the dry socket once, the dentist now tells me to use dry socket paste and wait, rather than being willing to see me. So, I went on Amazon, and after much prayer, I found a gel that I am using to deal with the pain, and it works like a miracle. I’m unsure if the dry socket is healing because it was a molar in the back, and I can’t see it, but I am managing the pain, hoping that it will eventually heal over, and I will not need the gel.

But I stopped taking the massive amount of painkillers I was prescribed because oxycodone had become like “happy juice” to me, using it all through the day. As someone who does not have a means of knowing when I have had enough food or drink, I decided that it was too easy for me to get addicted to opioids, so I just ceased taking them. It is hard, but so far, I am able to write a blog today without being in a continual fog.

I still have more mouth surgery, but I am reevaluating just what I can endure and what I can’t avoid. I am also going for physical therapy twice a week for neck and shoulder pain. I strained my neck muscles in the fall, and what I thought was shoulder pain from the fall is more. I will see a neurosurgeon next month, but the physical therapist believes I can heal without surgery. That is preferred.

I had to withdraw from working in my church office and teaching Sunday School because I can’t focus, and so much of my time is spent on trying to get pain-free. I have learned that you must be your own advocate and know when to let go of certain things. I hated to stop my church activities and attending church, but it is what’s best for now, and I don’t think the Lord keeps score on how many times I attend church or work in the office. I rely on His grace, instead.

So, I am still struggling, but I am not defeated. I am still tired, but I am not giving up or giving in. I will continue to fight and advocate for myself, even if it means changing dentists, so that I know the care I receive is the best possible for getting my life back.

I don’t regret the trip. I had a great time, except for the fall. Douglas and I are already planning our next trip and applying to move to Portugal for about five years. My youngest daughter told me that I had done my duty as a parent and grandparent, and if I want to go sit on a beach every day, then I have her blessing. I will be only a couple of plane trips away.

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