Pushing through to Write Some Blogs

One of the young bloggers I follow wrote a post declaring that she would write a blog every day in October. In my comment to her post, I informed her that I would join her, as a way to return to daily posting and answering the daily prompts, which I love. Since we came home from Europe in June, my husband and I have dealt with continuous physical ailments. I have a pinched nerve in my neck and lower back. The pain from each, both on my right side, leaves me wanting only to lie down in bed, but I refuse to allow it to defeat me. I am trying to endure the pain without medication, for fear of addiction. I have had so many doctor visits that I now have a calendar that almost exclusively includes medical appointments.

But I can’t wait until I am out of pain to write on my blog. I realized last night, as I tried to sleep without taking pain pills, that chronic pain will be in my future. I finally recognize that my back, after three surgeries and with degenerative arthritis visible on X-rays, will cause me chronic pain. I don’t want any more surgeries, but the pain in the lumbar area is so intense that my life has nearly stopped. I no longer attend church, although I am committed to returning next week to support my husband, who will be preaching. I don’t go to the gym, but I need to strengthen my core. And, I had stopped writing, but I realized that writing on my blog, even if it is one blog a day, is necessary for my mental health in this season of pain.

So far, I have been able to keep my promise to join in the October writing challenge, although it is just the fifth day. However, the challenge is a good one, as it allows me to soldier through the pain and regain a part of my life. Indeed, I have regained another part of my life, which is going out to walk with my husband when he plays disc golf. Yesterday, I had over 6000 steps for the first time in a long time. I love being outside, listening to the birds sing, and the wind blowing on my face. Looking at the beauty of the trees around me and watching kids play baseball in the park’s fields rejuvenated me.

I vowed to push through the pain and take back the parts of my life I can. My husband and I are preparing to move to Portugal, and I am so excited about traveling again to find a new home to reside in for the next five years. It is my hope and prayer for as much relief as I can get through the doctors, hopefully without more surgery, but if surgery is needed, I will face it with the same patient endurance that I have shown in other trials in my life. And then, I will write a blog about it! I so admire the bloggers I follow who have chronic pain, as I now understand the struggle and wonder how in the world they do it!

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