Some Losses Remain for a Lifetime: Happy 76th Birthday, JoAnn.

My sister would have been 76 today. She was two years older than me, but she seemed more like a mother to me than a sibling. Whenever we lived in an aunt’s house because our parents weren’t able to care for us or didn’t want to, JoAnn was given responsibility for me. You can imagine the stress of an 11-year-old taking care of her 9-year-old baby sister. She took the responsibility serious, fighting all of my battles. I didn’t learn to defend myself because she would always tell me to go on home and she would handle it. In elementary school, other children would tell someone bullying me that I had a crazy sister, so they should rethink bullying me.

She left home when she was about age 18, having had her first child. I missed her terribly. She was the only constant in my childhood, as we switched homes nearly yearly. She died at age 23, the mother of four children, two boys and two girls. In honor of her care for me, I adopted her kids, and after 53 years, they still remind me of her, as each one of them has some characteristic of hers that can make me start to cry in missing her.

Today, in honor of her, I will have a cheese sandwich, as her favorite food was cheddar cheese. While I bought candy and cold drinks when I received any money, she bought ounces of cheddar cheese and ate it just like eating an apple. Once when she was in the hospital, she had constipation. She wanted some cheese, which was counterintuitive. But I snuck the cheese into for her, and she was just fine. I was booted out of the hospital!

She died December 19, 1972, and I wish I had thought to take a picture of her at some point in our lives. Her youngest son is obsessed with finding a photo of her, but I have asked on Facebook if anyone from our school days has a picture of her and not found any. Today, I remember her as having a tough exterior, ready to fight at the drop of a hat. But, I also remember that she fed every child in her neighborhood that had no food. She was a loving and giving person and, for one so young, a great mother. I still miss her! Rest on, JoAnn. You are truly missed, my dear sister!