As a Sociology professor, I took every opportunity to cover domestic violence in my classes. As a survivor, I am a living witness of the need to teach every man and woman, boy and girl, about this scourge on our culture. When you consider that one out of three women and one out of four men will experience some form of physical, emotional, or financial abuse in their lifetimes, and one in seven women, as well as one in twenty-five men, will suffer a severe injury from someone who once professed loving them, you recognize that this is a catastrophe.
Yes, men also suffer domestic violence, but they are often silent, even more so than women, because it is humiliating and shameful for a man to admit he needs help. When I assigned a journal article on domestic violence against men, and I asked the males in my classes how many would call the police or the Men’s Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-888-7HELPLINE if they were being battered, over the years, only one raised his hand.
But, women are over 75 percent of the victims of domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, battering, and domestic abuse. This violence is unacceptable in a civilized society, where the home is meant to be a haven. Everyone has a stake in stopping it. Where help can be accessed can be found at the the Domestic Violence Awareness Project
In my classes, I felt duty-bound to inform to students why I remained in abusive relationships as a teenager and in my first marriage. I revealed to them that, at age 13 or 14, one of my aunts told me that I was no Sleeping Beauty and therefore, it was good that I was smart, because I would never find a husband. That single sentence engendered in me an obsession with having a boyfriend, no matter the costs. But, thankfully, I came to understand that the love that e Lord God wants for us doesn’t include injuries, humiliation, or isolation. I implored them that if they were in such a relationship, to remember that they are unique, one of a kind, and therefore, priceless people.
I leave you with a poem by Carol Geneva Kaplan, titled, Another Woman, that I gave to every student. Read and reflect on how we can each stop these awful acts.
Inspiration
Another woman
Today another woman died
and not on a foreign field
and not with a rifle strapped to her back,
and not with a large defense of tanks
rumbling and rolling behind her.
She died without CNN covering her war.
She died without talk of intelligent bombs
and strategic targets
The target was simply her face, her back
her pregnant belly.
The target was her precious flesh
that was once composed like music
in her mother’s body and sung
in the anthem of birth.
The target was this life
that had lived its own dear wildness,
had been loved and not loved,
had danced and not danced.
A life like yours or mine
that had stumbled up
from a beginning
and had learned to walk
and had learned to read.
and had learned to sing.
Another woman died today.
not far from where you live;
Just there, next door where the tall light
falls across the pavement.
Just there, a few steps away
where you’ve often heard shouting.
Another woman died today.
She was the same girl
her mother used to kiss;
the same child you dreamed
beside in school.
The same baby her parents
walked in the night with
and listened and listened and listened
For her cries even while they slept.
And someone has confused his rage
with this woman’s only life.
– Carol Geneya Kaplan
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