“Bang”, I heard the front door. Getting up I heard Harold say “Charlie you need, ‘Bang” (softer) to repent.” By now, I was flying. “Bang” went the front door a third time. I could follow Harold by the sound of his lecturing. Catching him, I convinced this hard line Christian to turn around and let me talk to Charlie. Looking far ahead, I could see Charlie motoring under a full head of steam. I usually only caught him by calling gently.
Charlie did have major problems he needed to deal with, but he was like this bird. If you approached him too closely, without first convincing him that you were safe, he fled. Over time, I developed this rule that I had to listen to him 10 times for each time I wanted him to listen to me. Slowly, I learned that he was mentally very slow, he had a hyperglycemia that could cause him to act irrationally, and he had been put in a mental institute as a Child, where he had been molested. It was only after he saw that he was a wonderful person, that he could begin to deal with these issues.
This is so true of us. My wife talks about the high percentage of women that have either been molested as a child or suffered spousal abuse. Sometimes in talking to them, you can see that they have developed defense mechanisms to survive, but these are carried into regular life where they are inappropriate. You want to talk to them, but they are like a skittish animal that has not been tamed by love.
My wife waxes eloquent, telling them that they are beautiful by themselves. They don’t need a man to make them complete. They might find one who makes a great partner, but that is from a position of strength, because they have learned that they are worthy all by themselves.
This isn’t just true for abused women, but it applies to us all. I want to share this wondrous gift God has given us, but so many are so focused on what other people have done to them, that they can’t hear the need for healing. If you look, you can see the beautiful gem that is trying to emerge. It might be a diamond, pearl, emerald, etc. Once they are convinced you see the gem and think they are special, they will listen to what they need to do to become more Godly. Read John 4 and see how gentle Jesus was with the woman at the well before He brought up the issue with the men in her life.