This has been a stressful week, with allergy season starting and problems between adult children. Having been successful so far at resisting the temptations of the foods I love for over a year, I decided that even if I had my favorite food in the whole world in the house, I have proven that I possess the necessary self-control.
As we walked the aisles of the store, my eyes saw that there was a new flavor of Oreos, chocolate hazelnut filling, instead of the white filling. I believed that I would probbly eat one of two at various intervals, so no harm done to my diet. I was additionally encouraged when my husband, Douglas, didn’t ask me any questions or say outright that I shouldn’t buy them.
For the first few days, I was good, as everything was great and I wasn’t feeling stressed. But, then, allergy season hit with a vengeance, and all of a sudden, I, like most humans, needed comfort food to help make the days bearable. I looked up the point count for the cookies, and decided that if I have a lunch with all zero point foods, then I figured that I could spare six points for two cookies. Well, needless to say, that didn’t work out as planned.
By the time I was satisfied, I had eaten seven Oreos, or 16 points. My daily allowance took a big hit, as it was just the middle of the day and I still had dinner to add. They were so good, people! I mean exhilaratingly grand! My mouth was a happy place, and it didn’t care about the worries of the rest of my body over too much sugar and having fallen off the wagon, hard.
I was going to throw the rest of the cookies away, but a part of me can’t stand neither getting my money’s worth nor throwing away perfectly good food. I could have asked Douglas to take them to work for his colleagues, which is usually what happens, but I believed that what had occurred was an anomaly, but it was just an overture to the rest of the week, with two of my children arguing and putting me in the middle of it.
Yes, they are adults, both over 50 years old, but when any of them have a grievance with one of the others, it seemed thay want me to take their side and chastise the other one. I generally prefer to stay out of the matter but this was a serious issue that could’ve led to someone being hurt physically, so I tried to intervene, praying to God to give me the right words to say to the one being combative.
I ended up screaming the phrase, “You won’t listen,” over and over again to my son. I was so loud that Douglas was afraid that I would have a stroke, and I, too, was concerned enough to just hang up the call, and leave the situation alone. Children, even adult ones, tend to finally come to some resolution, if others just stay out of it.
By the time they were back to speaking terms, I was eating Oreos like they were water. What occurs is that the sweetness is a temporary cure, leaving behind shame at having no self-control. Douglas will take the remaining cookies to work today, and I realize that if I am to stay healthy, the things that tempt me, meaning all things extraordinarily sweet, I have to leave them in the store. Yes, I can share a dessert with Douglas every once in a while, like on his birthday on Monday, but we can’t have cookies, cakes, pies, and other delights in the house.
I fooled myself into believing that I have become as strong as the temptations I crave, but that is a fool’s move. I had done really good not buying the foods that tend to call my name at 4:00 am or while watching Wallander or another British murder mystery. So, I will leave them in the stores, and thank God that I didn’t eat the whole bag, as I would have before. There is something to be proud of, after all.