Feeling Helpless to Help a Child Steals Our Joy

We do so much for our children, and one of the hardest words for a mother to hear from a youngster is “I can do it myself.” Yet, even as they grow into adults, we still feel to try to help them in any way possible, as much as we can and not make them so dependent on us that they can’t do anything for themselves.

But inevitably a problem arises that we can’t help them endure, a misery created by their own missteps that means that only they can fix it. You know as a parent that those events will come, but the sense of helplessness leads you gasping for air and unable to sleep.

One of my daughters is enduring a crisis that has shook me to my core. I question all of the things I taught my children and wonder if I forgot to mention something vital. I can’t help her; I can only pray to God to hold her and her husband in His hands and make the outcome as painless as possible.

I am trying to carry her on my faith, because she stopped attending church or praying a long time ago, telling me that my insistence on her and her siblings going to church every Sunday and then having Bible studies at home each week turned her off to religion. I admit that because my childhood was so devoid of the Lord, I wanted my children to learn to trust in God early in their lives. I was hoping that they would forego some of the pain I endured as a child and teenager who didn’t have anyone to call on in times of trouble. But, maybe I overdid it!

I feel as though I am letting her down, but the reality is that she has to trod this road alone. I know it in my head, but my mother’s heart wishes that it was me, not her. Her tears cut me deeply, and her fears are contagious. I can’t find joy in anything, and I know that I won’t until her situation is resolved and we all can breathe again. I will not violate her privacy, but I will ask for prayers for her and her husband and the whole clan. I know the power of prayer by the righteous is still powerful and gets results.

I know, too, that there is nothing too hard for God. I am thankful for this blog which gives me an outlet to voice my thoughts to a wonderful community. It really healps!

7 thoughts on “Feeling Helpless to Help a Child Steals Our Joy

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  1. When our children are going through painful issues, we suffer too as parents. I’ve experienced what you’re going through and it was so agonizing for me that I couldn’t sleep at night with pain and worry. But we can only pray. Sending prayers your way dear friend

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I will pray with you. You are brave to just let her go through it. We can’t control what we can’t control. We CAN believe in our Lord to ease our pain, and her journey.

    Sometimes those things are hard to write about, I am glad you trusted us. Donna


  3. I hope Providence gives them strength and gives you the strength too!
    Indeed as parents we want the best for our children and do everything in our power to help them.
    May be for now you can pray for her and just be there as a support, someone she can talk to, reach out to and just bare out her heart 🙂
    Love and wishes.


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