Six Unexpected Days in the Hospital Leave Me Fearful But Closer to God

I was having a wonderful Mother’s Day, and I was thinking of the blogs I would be able to write and post now that all of my college courses were done for this academic year. Then, out of nowhere came a severe abdominal pain, one that I had come to fear. I first decided that I could ride it out without going to the emergency room. But, by Monday afternoon I went for help at the emergency room, and after tests, I was told I had a small bowel obstruction (SBO), and I was admitted. I was in so much pain, that one of the first things done was a morphine shot. I call it “happy juice.”

In the case of SBO, they stop feeding you all together. I was scheduled for surgery on Friday morning, but on Thursday night, the body started healing itself. Praise the Lord! So, I am home, and thankful to be in my own bed and untethered to machines. This hospitalization scared me, remindin me that I am truly mortal and that one day, I will die. To see the fear in my husband’s eyes shook my faith for a moment. The thought of leaving him was so painful.

I started to pray for other people in the hospital in even more grievous situations. I remembered that one of the beliefs of my life is that we are never alone, that God is with us and His angels encamp around us. That brought me peace, because I realized that I had no reason to fear, no matter the outcome. I picked up my new Anne Hillerman’s book in a series I love and starting reading, letting go of the outcome and leaving it in God’s hands, and in releasing the fear, healing started.

I will tell you that I am struggling to eat, because I fear that pain again, but I also know that I don’t want an eating disorder. This is the third time in a year that I have experienced this pain, and twice I have been hospitalized, even though the first time was just an overnight stay. The general surgeon says there is no pill I can take and research doesn’t show that there are foods I can eat or avoid that will improve my chances of not having another SBO. I have to try eating six smaller meals throughout the day and drinking a lot of water, which is my Achilles’ heel. I don’t like water, but I will learn to like it.

I am doing everything a 70-year-old can do to be healthy, exercising and eating right, so I expect all to go well. But, life doesn’t work like that, and these bodies, although wonderfully and marvelously made, have problems as we age. I will keep doing what I can control, and I’ll leave the rest in God’s hands. Thank you all for your prayers. The prayers of the righeous are still powerful.