I didn’t attend my 50th high school reunion! My oldest daughter is upset and ashamed that I chose not to go, even after she offered to drive me and attend it with me. I couldn’t get her to understand that it just wasn’t important to me to be in the middle of a group of people that I didn’t know well in high school and to whom I hadn’t spoken for 50 years.
I became aware of the reunion less than six weeks before the event, as no one had contacted me. By the time I found out about the particulars of the event, it was too late for Douglas to request the time off. The organizer of the event apologized that I hadn’t been notified. It turns out that on the Classmates.com website, I was listed in the class yearbook as deceased.
I was gobsmacked at that revelation (It has been updated!). I told him that, under the circumstances, I understood how I was overlooked in the mailings. I advised that I would send the monies right away, as the deadline had passed for paying it a little at a time.
But after much thought about not knowing anyone, especially as I had no friends in my classes, and the possibility of someone drinking too much alcohol and asking me if I was “Little Monster,” I decided not to go. I used Douglas’s work as my excuse.
Then, I received a call from my daughter about two weeks ago! Her supervisor, someone who graduated in my class, asked her to call and convince me to attend, telling my daughter that she wanted to “show me off.” I was Reverend Dr. Regina, and people needed to see that I had achieved despite the bullying.
I tried to get my daughter to understand that I have nothing to prove to anyone, and that to attend to “show off” would demonstrate that the ugliness of those days still had power to guide my thoughts and actions. And, as Douglas said, “I am not a pet pig!”
She thinks that I lack courage, and when she couldn’t talk me into going, even offering to pay for the whole package of $250 tickets per couple, a new dress for the formal gala, and two nights in a hotel, she hung up disgusted with me. I have not spoken to her since that debacle.
Admittedly, one of the reasons I first decided to go was pride, and showing off my spouse was paramount. I wasn’t asked for one date throughout my whole school experience. Showing up with not just a husband, but a smart, handsome, white guy who grew up in a wealthy family and who thinks of me as a “pearl,” was meant to be the icing on the cake.
But, I realized that I cannot boast about my accomplishments or my wonderful husband. Everything that I have achieved and all that I possess, including Douglas, are gifts from God. Second Corinthians 11:30 states, ” If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.” And Romans 11:36 reminds us, “Everything comes from the Lord. All things were made because of him and will return to him. Praise the Lord forever! Amen.”
So, the reunion was this past Friday and Saturday, and I spent the time arranging my new home, reading the book of Esther for a possible Bible Study for women in my new city, and thanking God for all the blessings in my life. I don’t regret not going! I truly didn’t know people then, and I had few memories that I could share. To go just to say, “in your face” just made no sense to me.